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Lawyers of San Diego is a specialty bar association committed to advancing the status of women in the law and society. We will be using this space to share articles written about Lawyers Club events and programs, and items of interest to our members which are relevant to our mission. The opinions outlined in content published on the Lawyers Club of San Diego blog are those of the author and not Lawyers Club. All members are encouraged to respectfully participate in discussions regarding the topics posted on the blog, and guest writers are welcome.

 

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My So-Called First World Problems: "Good Luck With That Abortion"

Posted By Rebecca Zipp, Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Good Luck With That Abortion

 

Ohioans can breathe a sigh of relief! On December 13, pro-life Governor John Kasich vetoed Ohio’s “fetal heartbeat” bill – a bill banning all abortions after six weeks’ gestation, which is the point at which a fetal heartbeat can be detected. 


But the news is not all good. Governor Kasich did sign a 20-week abortion ban into law. As anyone who has ever received prenatal care knows, the “big” ultrasound is done at 20 weeks. That’s when you either breathe a sigh of relief because your fetus is healthy, or the technician runs out of the room to fetch a doctor to deliver sad news. Abortions past the 20-week mark are rare, (between 1% and 1.5% of all abortions occur past 20 weeks), and they are often performed in heart-wrenching situations where the parents badly wanted to have a child.


Our President has taken a flippant anti-Roe stance, dismissively saying that the issue should be left to the states. So, what options does a woman from Ohio have? I surveyed the states sharing borders with Ohio. Below, I share my findings and precious few words of comfort. 


Indiana made national news when then-Governor, now United States Vice President Mike Pence signed a law requiring that miscarried and aborted fetal remains be cremated or buried. The law is so extreme that it was opposed by pro-life women legislators. Also, you must wait for 18 hours to elapse between your state-mandated counseling session and your abortion procedure. Perhaps you can visit one of Indiana’s beautiful state parks as you mull the decision you had already made when you made interstate travel plans to carry out that decision.


Caveat: If your fetus is past 13 weeks’ gestation, travel elsewhere. As recently as early December 12, 2016, Hoosier women typically traveled to Ohio for their second-trimester abortions. They did this because Indiana law requires second-trimester abortions to be performed in a licensed surgical center or hospital – making the procedure unnecessarily, and often prohibitively, expensive. But now, abortions past 20 weeks are not available in Ohio even in cases of rape or incest. So sad, too bad.


You can always travel east to Pennsylvania. Abortion here is legal until 24 weeks of gestation. And, you can enjoy a mini-vacation, as you must spend 24 hours between your first doctor’s appointment and your abortion. Are you a minor? Bring mom or dad along, unless you can obtain a judicial bypass. The thought of involving the judiciary in my personal life is daunting for me, as an old, white, married, lady lawyer. But maybe post-millennials are bolder than my generation and this is a realistic option for Buckeye girls.


Michigan’s abortion laws are similar to Pennsylvania’s. In addition, there is state-directed “counseling” designed to discourage the patient from having an abortion. Medicaid patients will have to cover the entire cost of the procedure, unless they are rape or incest victims, or the pregnancy is life-endangering.


West Virginia would not be my first choice, as a mere .2% of American abortions occur in this state. But . . . mini-vacation! West Virginia has a 24-hour waiting period as well.

Kentucky’s public employees carry insurance policies which do not cover abortion. The waiting period is a mere 18 hours, but still requires you to be in Kentucky overnight. Also, you will need two medical doctors to determine that the abortion is “necessary.” Public hospitals may not perform an abortion unless the pregnancy endangers the mother’s life.


Angry yet? Good. Donate now to one of the local abortion funds listed here. It may take a few clicks, but you will help a woman in need.

All facts and statistics are from The Guttmacher Institute unless otherwise noted.

Rebecca Zipp is an unapologetic defender of reproductive justice and a Lawyers Club Director.

Tags:  LCB  My So-Called First-World Problems  reproductive justice 

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Stories to Solutions: “Why Jamie Quient’s Disclosure Was Important”

Posted By Hon. Cynthia Bashant, Tuesday, February 14, 2017

“Why Jamie Quient’s Disclosure Was Important”


For those of you who missed it—in February’s “LC News,” our President, Jamie Quient bravely disclosed an incident of sexual harassment that happened to her when she was a law student intern. Why is it important for people like this to speak out about past incidents of sexual harassment?

 

First, sexual harassment generally happens to young, naïve women, who are completely blindsided by the comments, and as a result, are ill-equipped to respond. Much like taking a self-defense class, during which an individual has the opportunity to think through how she or he might respond if attacked, disclosing these stories gives young women an opportunity to think through potential responses.


But it isn’t just about empowering young women. We know most of the men out there are good guys who are appalled by these incidents. They too are shocked when harassment occurs, largely because women don’t speak out and share their stories. It is important for men—particularly those who are older and in positions of equal power—to be prepared to step in and squelch a sexual harasser. As they say at the airport, “If you see something, say something!” These men need the opportunity to think through how they might respond to such a situation.


Finally and unfortunately, these incidents are all too common. Recently, I was in a group of women judges and prominent women lawyers. Someone asked who in the group had faced harassment of a sexual nature as a young lawyer. Almost everyone had. Hoping maybe things had improved since we had been young lawyers, I have been surveying law clerks and other young women I come in contact with. The stories have not changed. Sexual harassers may be in the minority, but they get around! And apparently they are empowering a whole new generation in their own image.


So speak out and speak up to empower others. 


This blog post was authored by Hon. Cynthia Bashant, is a United States district judge for the United States District Court, Southern District of California. She is also a past president of Lawyers Club.

Tags:  LCB  sexual harassment  stories to solutions 

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Stories to Solutions: "Stand Up, Speak Out, Take Action"

Posted By Jamie Quient, Monday, February 13, 2017
Stand Up, Speak Out, Take Action

“What’s your sexual fantasy?” 

Not exactly the question I expected to get from a partner at a law firm where I was interning in law school. But there I was, like I deer caught in headlights, expected to answer in front of a group of colleagues at a work-sponsored function. 

I was interning at a well-respected law firm. I was getting great experience, learning a lot and really enjoying the job. Towards the end of the summer, the law firm had its annual day at the Padres game. I couldn’t tell you who they played or what the final score was. But I sure remember what happened after the game. 

After the game was over, some people went home, but most of the firm’s attorneys and staff were still going strong. The remaining group migrated to the Tilted Kilt. If you haven’t been there, it’s basically an Irish-themed Hooters with scantily-clad waitresses in crop tops and mini-skirt kilts. 

Soon after we arrived, a partner ordered a round of tequila shots for everyone there. I politely handed my shot to someone else. Needless to say, the tequila shots took the group to another level. And that’s when it happened. The same partner that ordered the tequila shots asked me and the other two female interns – in front of the entire group – to share our sexual fantasy. I tried several times to change the subject and do whatever I could to avoid answering, but he wouldn’t let it go. I finally answered curtly and briefly and he let me off the hook. 

Mortified does not begin to describe how I felt at that moment. I had worked so hard to be there, getting good grades, getting onto Law Review and doing an assortment of extracurricular activities. At that moment, none of that mattered. I was nothing more than a sexual object there for the entertainment and pleasure of others. 

This is just one experience, among others, I have faced in my legal career where I was treated in a manner that would not have happened if I was a man. It’s not just individuals we work with – it’s everyone around us – opposing counsel, witnesses, and clients. 

When we face these encounters, most of the time we simply brush it off and keep it to ourselves. We don’t report it. We don’t tell anyone. We just suck it up and move on. There are many reasons women choose not to speak up. The biggest reason is fear of retaliation or wrongful termination. 

There’s also the fear that if you speak up, you will not be believed. Too often it takes several people to report misconduct by the same individual before the allegations are viewed as “legitimate.”  Worse yet, the individual reporting mistreatment can face further harm in the response which can amount to “victim-blaming” and “slut-shaming” – essentially pointing the finger at the victim saying that she somehow brought this upon herself. Sometimes, it’s easier to leave the job, should you have that luxury, than to speak up and risk not only that job, but your professional reputation and ability to attain future employment. 

In my case, I was just starting out my legal career and knew that if I said anything it could negatively impact my legal career. So rather than report the incident or confront my harasser, I kept it to myself. Even now, despite the fact that I do not work at this firm, I am still uncomfortable sharing it. 

These experiences have made me keenly aware that despite all of the gains women in the legal field and other professions, we are still far from equal. Women in the workplace still experience sexual harassment, sexism, bullying, and gender discrimination every day. Each of these gender issues involves a different form of behavior. The common link is that they are all a means through which women are treated less than equal from their male counterparts. 

Lawyers Club launched the #EnoughisEnough campaign in July 2016 to find solutions to these issues. While there is no silver bullet to ending the mistreatment of women in the workplace, what is clear is that as leaders in the feminist movement, we can be part of the solution if we speak up, speak out, and take action!

Stand Up
I decided to share my story because we have to. The more I have spoken up about these issues, the more apparent it is that many people simply do not realize how often these things happen. This is true among men and women alike, but more often it is those in positions of power that are the most surprised when they learn this is happening. They typically do not see it happen, and if no one speaks up, how could they know? 

We also need to speak up to protect those that follow us from the same mistreatment. As we have learned from the stories of career-sexual harassers in the media, if we leave without saying something, they will continue to harass others. I hope that sharing my story helps others have more courage than I had to speak up and call out the behavior. While hindsight is 20/20, in retrospect, I would have approached my harasser after the incident and told him that his question made me feel like a sexual object, not a lawyer. I would have said, “if you wouldn’t say or do something to a man, then please don’t say or do it to me. I want to be treated with the same dignity and respect as you treat my male counterparts.” Period.

Speak Out
We must also speak out when we see others face these issues. Looking back at my experience at the Tilted Kilt, I can’t help but wonder why no one else spoke up. I was a law clerk – I was not comfortable calling out this behavior – and not quick enough on my feet to think of a better response. Someone else in a position of power could have chimed in and found a tactful or funny way to deflect the question. I do not know if anyone said anything after the fact, but I highly doubt it. We all need to be there to stand up for our colleagues and speak truth to power. We also have a legal duty to report sexual harassment when we observe it or learn of it.

Take Action
The only way we will be able to create an environment where those who experience sexual harassment or other unequal treatment to speak up or get others to speak out on their behalf is if those in a position of power take action when these issues arise. Employers must ensure their employees feel safe to come forward without fear of retaliation and that their report will be taken seriously. If an employee has the courage to report an incident and the employer fails to take adequate measures to address this issue, it is worse than if they had never reported it.

As we move forward with the #EnoughisEnough campaign, we will continue to speak up, speak out, and take action. This campaign will continue with our Stories to Solutions Blog Series, “Solutions Summit” in the spring and will culminate at the Lawyers Club Annual Dinner on June 1, 2017 themed “Speak Up, Speak Out, Take Action.” 


This blog is authored by Jamie Quient, President of Lawyers Club of San Diego, and was originally published as the President's Message in the February 2017 Newsletter.

Tags:  enough is enough  LCB  sexual harassment  stories to solutions 

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Guest Blog: "The Passing of Judge Vaino Hassan Spencer; a Trailblazer for African American Women in the Judiciary"

Posted By Shanly Hopkins, Tuesday, February 7, 2017

The Passing of Judge Vaino Hassan Spencer; a Trailblazer for African American Women in the Judiciary

 

Today, we remember the legacy of Judge Vaino Hassan Spencer who has passed away on October 25, 2016 at the age of 96, and recognize her as an individual who broke barriers in the legal field. Judge Spencer was the first African-American woman appointed to a judgeship in California and co-founded the Black Women Lawyers Association and the National Association of Women Judges. Her passing reminds us to recognize, honor, and thank, not only Judge Spencer, but also all African-American and minority women for their contributions to the legal community.

 

Judge Vaino Hassan Spencer has been a trailblazer since the beginning of her career. At the age of 32 she became the third African American woman to be admitted to the California State Bar.  She worked as a general practice attorney and served on various appointive boards and commissions. On her journey to make a difference in the legal profession, Judge Spencer became involved in state politics.  She was a member of the California Democratic Central Committee from 1958 to 1960. 

 

In 1961, Governor Pat Brown appointed her Municipal Court judge for the Los Angeles Judicial District. This made Judge Spencer the first African American woman to serve on the bench in California, and the third black female judge in the history of the United States.

 

Judge Spencer had a passion for legal and civil rights and devoted much of her time to endeavors supporting those rights in the 1960s. Some of her endeavors included serving on the California Attorney General’s Committee on Constitutional Rights, serving on the board of directors of the National Committee Against Discrimination in Housing, and becoming a member of the life membership committee of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in order to help advance their mission.

 

In 1976, Governor Jerry Brown appointed Judge Spencer to the Los Angeles County Superior Court. At the time Judge Spencer became a Superior Court Judge, 15 states did not have a single woman judge. Furthermore, there were only 28 female judges in the federal court system. Seeing the lack of female representation in the judiciary, Judge Spencer helped established the National Association of Women Judges in 1979.  The mission of the National Association of Women Judges was to increase the number of women in state and federal judiciaries. This organization catapulted Judge Spencer into becoming a pioneer for women on the bench, and people of color on the bench.

 

Judge Spencer ended her career by serving as Presiding Judge of the Division One California Court of Appeal, Second Appellate District, which she began in 1980. After holding this position for over 20 years, she retired in September of 2007. Judge Spencer served the judiciary in California for a total of 46 years.

 

Judge Spencer won many honors for her work, a few of which are: the Trailblazer Award from the National Association of Business and Professional Women, the Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Bar Association in 1991, and a honorary Doctor of Law degree from Southwestern Law School.

 

Everything that Judge Spencer has accomplished highlights the importance of challenging ingrained stereotypes and providing support to other women. Despite dealing with the daily stresses of working in the legal field and supporting families, minority women have to also overcome many more obstacles and stereotypes than the ordinary attorney or judge. In addition to these obstacles, self-imposed barriers are often presented for women who are trying to advance their careers, which is why supporting other minority women is so essential to the individual success of our group as a whole.

 

In this time of unrest, Judge Vaino Hassan Spencer’s passion of promoting gender and racial equality should inspire us to continue down her path to better our future and the future of our children. 

 

Shanly Hopkins is a business and real estate attorney at Aguirre Allen Law, and wrote this on behalf of Lawyers Club’s Diverse Women’s Committee.

Tags:  Black Women Lawyers Association  guest blogger  Judge Spencer  LCB  National Association of Women Judges  Shanly Hopkins  Superior Court  the color of justice  Trailblazer Award 

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Chasing the Last Wave: "Now More Than Ever"

Posted By Molly T. Tami , Monday, January 30, 2017

Now More Than Ever

 

Shortly after last year’s presidential election, The American Lawyer featured an article in which well-known lawyer David Boies reflected on the election results. He offered many interesting observations, but one stood out for me and continues to give me pause. As “bad news,” he noted the fact that women are not as invested in their own progress as other groups that have suffered discrimination. Because women are in the majority, he thinks they may have a sense of complacency and remain subject to environmental influences like tradition, marriage, and the views of their husbands. I don’t find his complacency observation accurate with respect to women lawyers I know, particularly those in Lawyers Club! But, does his observation ring true for women as a whole in this country? I’m not sure.

 

What I am sure about, is that environmental influences, social norms, and structural barriers prevent women, (lawyers and others), from achieving gender equality in our society. This notion was underscored at the recent Lawyers Club luncheon where the results of the Annual Equality Survey were released and discussed. While there was some good news in the survey, the data confirmed the bad news we already knew: women are not being treated equally in the legal community. The panel discussion at the luncheon addressed a number of strategies and solutions devised by law firms and public sector agencies to address gender inequality in San Diego’s legal community.

 

The strategy that got the biggest applause was an employer-paid nanny for two women associates at a small law firm. While I also applaud this employer’s effort, it reminded me that childcare policies in this country, (or the lack thereof), create a huge structural barrier that exacerbates gender discrimination in the workplace. Unlike in many western-European countries, childcare in the U.S. is a purely private concern to be addressed by parents, and most often by mothers. Making childcare a collective responsibility should be a crucial initiative in the quest for gender equality.  Ensuring that day care is available to families (of all incomes) will ensure that women can equally participate in the workplace and advance to their full potential. Asking women to compensate for the biases of tradition or social norms should no longer be acceptable.  

 

Although the current political winds may not be with us on these issues, we must nevertheless commit ourselves to increasing awareness of these barriers and continuing the dialogue for eventual solutions. Now, more than ever, we need to chase the last wave of feminism.         

    

Molly Tami, who serves as the Assistant Dean for Career & Professional Development at USD School of Law, is passionate about advancing women in the legal profession.             

Tags:  Chasing the Last Wave  childcare  discrimination  equality  feminism  feminist  gender  LCB  legal profession  now more than ever  structural barriers  women 

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Stories to Solutions: Post #1

Posted By Mehry Mohseni, Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Stories to Solutions: Post #1

It was just two years ago.  I was a law clerk for a seasoned male attorney in San Diego. I was actually getting paid (!), finishing law school, and succeeding at a job that I hoped to return to after the bar exam. That was, until, the sexual harassment began. It happened multiple times, over a span of about two weeks. There was the joke about whether or not I was wearing underwear. There was the time he attributed the fact I was single to being insubordinate because I dared to have an opinion contrary to his. The last straw came when, after I spent hours researching and writing an important brief, he reduced my likelihood of success down to whether or not the judge hearing the case would find me sexually attractive.


I remember slowly walking back to my desk after that last one.  I sat down, and I realized I was shaking. My mind raced with questions, “How did I get into this situation? Why didn’t I see this coming? And how did I let this get so far?” I instantly stopped myself. I refused to let my mind spiral into a million thoughts of self-blame. This happened because my boss was a privileged misogynist who felt he could say whatever he wanted to his younger female employee.


I waited until the shaking stopped, gathered myself up and walked back into his office. I told him I would be ending my clerkship the following week. He asked if it had to do with the comment he just made, and I replied, “yes,” and walked out. Luckily, it was a Friday afternoon. As a cherry on top of my day, when exiting the lobby of the building, the security guard told me I should SMILE because it was Friday. I wanted to punch him in the face.


The second I got to my car, I began sobbing uncontrollably. While I was proud of standing up for myself, I had the awful realization that not all women can just pick up and leave the way I did.  They might have families to feed, or might not have the education or experience to easily find another position in a difficult job market. There are women (and men) who put up with this type of harassment every single day. My heart hurts for anyone living in that hell.


On my last day, the attorney stopped by my office on his way out and apologized. He told me that I did great work, and he was sorry I was leaving. He then said something that really stuck with me. He said that he didn’t mean to “weird me out.” I let him know that the things he said didn’t just “weird me out.” It wasn’t just the fact that his comments were vulgar, crude or inappropriate. It was the way in which he viewed my work and my self-worth, and reduced my intellect down to my relationship status, my sexuality and my appearance.


I share my story of sexual harassment to point out the consequences of a man that uses his position of power to say or do whatever he feels like doing, without any consideration for the consent, respect or boundaries of others. What this translates into for women in the workplace is that our work and our intellect are not given the appreciation and respect they deserve. This can cost a woman a raise, a promotion or just the simple recognition she deserves. Nobody should have to deal with these preventable barriers to success.  


I encourage you to speak up you for yourself. Inform those who think they may have merely “weirded you out” that it goes much deeper than that. The first step is dialogue - with your friends, your community or even your boss.


I am proud to stand with Lawyers Club of San Diego, whose members lead our community in the fight against sexual harassment.


Mehry Mohseni is a family law attorney with Cage & Miles, LLP and co-chair of the Reproductive Justice Committee.   

Tags:  LCB  sexual harassment  stories to solutions  StS 

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The Color of Justice: "The Hidden Story of the 2016 Election: Rise of Women of Color in Government"

Posted By Shanly Hopkins, Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Hidden Story of the 2016 Election: Rise of Women of Color in Government


When I think about what this election cycle has meant for women of color, anger and fear are two of the predominate words that come to mind and the representation of women in government stayed about the same. However, one story has lingered in the shadows, and is a small beacon of hope in these troubling times: After the 2016 election, a record number of women of color will be serving in Congress.


The next Congress will include 38 total congresswomen of color, including 35 Democrats and 3 Republicans. Three new democratic women of color were elected to the Senate: Catherine Cortez Masto in Nevada, Tammy Duckworth in Illinois, and Kamala Harris in California. All of these new members of Congress are notable trailblazers. Catherine Cortez Masto, won the open Nevada Senate seat vacated by Harry Reid and she will be the first Latina senator. Kamala Harris will be the first Indian-American and second African-American woman to serve in the Senate.


Several women of color were also elected to the House. Stephanie Murphy won her seat in the House by beating 12-term GOP incumbent Rep. John L. Mica in Florida’s 7th Congressional District. Stephanie Murphy will be the first Vietnamese-American female member of Congress. Lisa Blunt Rochester will be not only the first African-American woman to serve in Congress from Delaware, but will also be the first woman to ever serve in Congress from Delaware. Lisa Blunt Rochester was also Delaware’s first African-American female state labor secretary.


Val Demings, who was the first African-American woman to serve as police chief of Orlando, won her congressional race in Florida. In Washington State, Pramila Jayapal, who is Indian-American, won an open congressional seat. New Hampshire will continue to be represented by an all-female congressional delegation. Rep. Mia Love, who was the first African-American female Republican in Congress, was reelected in Utah. Republican U.S. Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, who was the first Latina elected to Congress, also won reelection.


Another remarkable victory for women of color came from a Minnesota state legislative race, where Democrats elected the first Somali-American lawmaker, Ilhan Omar. Additionally, in Kentucky, Attica Scott became the state’s first African-American female legislator in 20 years. Native Americans were also well represented in this election, with over 40 being elected in state legislative races across the country. Namely, Affie Ellis became the first Native-American woman elected to the Wyoming Legislature. In this election, Nevada Democrats also put up an all-female ballot in a suburb of Las Vegas, right down to the county commissioner.


These victories are a bright spot for women of color in an otherwise dark election. Although we should celebrate these victories, we must still be cognizant of the current climate for women in government. Women are still vastly underrepresented in politics. After this election, women still make up just under 20 percent of Congress, yet represent half of the U.S. population.


Although this election has shown that change is possible for women of color, these changes are moving much too slowly. To win more races, women need to run more. Although Hillary Clinton’s loss will have a lasting effect on women in politics, we cannot let it discourage other women from jumping in and running for office. In 2016, women’s representation in government did not make a large change, but the women who did win are more diverse than ever, and we should use that as motivation to deal with the challenges that will surely come.


Shanly Hopkins is a business and real estate attorney with Aguirre Allen Law, and co-chair of the Professional Advancement Committee.

Tags:  Affie Ellis  Attica Scott  Catherine Cortez Masto  congress  election  house of representatives  Ilhan Omar  Kamala Harris  LCB  Lisa Blunt Rochester  Mia Love  minorities  Pramila Jayapal  senate  Stephanie Murphy  Tammy Duckworth  the color of justice  Val Demings  women of color 

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Perfection in the Imperfection: "Defining Ourselves - PART II"

Posted By Alisa Loigman, Monday, January 9, 2017
Updated: Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Defining Ourselves - PART II

PART I of II --- was posted on 1/3/17
 


WHO are YOU?
Take a moment to soak in your response to that question. Grab a note pad. Let’s play with this idea and how to add more congruence of ourselves into the professional arena. Write down your top three best personal qualities (for this exercise, lets refer to these as our “authentic self”). Take a moment to acknowledge how amazing you are. Next, write a list of five ways to appropriately incorporate those qualities into your client or colleague interactions (“action points”). These five action points can be small or large but make sure they are easy to practice and feel peaceful. Now, incorporate more of your authentic self into your daily routine, enacting one per day for one week. As you incorporate more of your authentic self into your professional practice, make note of three things: (1) How did you feel practicing your action points and allowing more of your authentic self to be present at work? (2) Did you notice any differences in your interactions? (3) Did your awareness and presence with your authentic self impact your perception of WHO you are?


I encounter many amazing women in our field and, when we get personal and open up, I often hear the struggle of being too stressed, not having enough time, and feeling like something always has to suffer for something else. I hear guilt and, almost always, that guilt stems from everything that we have internalized. (Because, duh, a professional is serious and not emotionally intelligent. Really?) Sometimes we tell ourselves stories that do not serve our highest good. Does this resonate for you in any part of your life? How can we feel more authentically like ourselves, personally and professionally? I believe that it starts with finding where you can add more of WHO you are into WHAT you do. Be unique. Break the mold. Manifest YOUR dreams. We are the unique qualities we bring to our roles, not simply the individual roles themselves.


I want to take a moment to respect the dynamic beauty that each of you uniquely possess. You’re smart, motivated, passionate, organized, and so much more. Do you remember to see this in your morning routines, meetings, billable hours, work deadlines, personal appointments, and family obligations? Do you remember to acknowledge these radiant parts of yourself? Release the guilt of not being enough; you are enough. Be kind to yourself; you do enough. Give grace to any discomfort that may arise in your journey of growth; you are exactly where you should be. I am in awe of all that you are, all that you are working towards, and everything you have been. WHO are you? You are whole. I am whole. Together, we are whole. I will not hold you back, stifle your growth, or judge you for the journey you are on and the challenges you are overcoming. I stand by your side in support of your fullest potential and greatest desires. Take the tim
e to reflect on the beauty of WHO you are, I do.


This blog was authored by Alisa Loigman.

Tags:  Authentic  Awareness  Balance  Definition  Identify  Intentions  LCB  perfection in the imperfection  Personal  Professional  Qualities  Self  Successful  What  Who 

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Perfection in the Imperfection: "Defining Ourselves - PART I"

Posted By Alisa Loigman, Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Updated: Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Defining Ourselves - PART I

Who are you?  No, no… not what do you do. Who are YOU?

 

When we are busy filling the many roles of life, we often forget to self-identify with WHO we are and not WHAT we do. Yes, what we do can be a large part of our identity but we are not served by defaulting to defining ourselves by our professional titles. The BBC News recently posted an article entitled “Why you shouldn’t ask people what they do” (by Alina Dizik) and one specific sentence grasped my attention: “Even the most successful executives will benefit from disentangling their sense of self from what they do.”

 

Ahh, yes, this got me thinking: WHO am I? (Deep breath, pause) If I answer that question professionally: I am a forensic accountant in the world of litigation and marital dissolution proceedings. If I answer that question personally: I am a dynamic woman, a wild spirit, a humbly soft and down to earth mother, a nurturing wife, and a compassionate friend; I am an individual with great capacity for love, kindness, and drive. Similar to most, I often lead with describing myself professionally, but much prefer the more personal answer.

 

I am sometimes overcome with feeling that WHAT I do overshadows WHO I am in my daily life, that my “self” gets lost in the context of the life roles I play (professional, mother, wife, community volunteer). I spend the majority of my waking time in my office and struggle with leaving that professional persona behind. I want more: to be more; to feel more; to play more; to achieve more. In order to create that abundance, I must first observe the unquestioned part of WHO I am in life and find more ways to bring my authentic self into my professional role. My intention is to create more balance in my life; my long-term success and happiness depends on it. This is the life that feels sustainable, empowering, fulfilling, and impactful. 

PART I of II --- find out who YOU are in Part II, will be posted 1/10/17


This blog was authored by Alisa Loigman. 

Tags:  Authentic  Awareness  Balance  Definition  Identify  Intentions  LCB  perfection in the imperfection  Personal  Professional  Qualities  Self  Successful  What  Who 

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Guest Blog: "Words Matter: Use Them Carefully"

Posted By Deborah Dixon, Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Words Matter: Use Them Carefully

 

We all remember the childhood saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That saying is far from true; in fact, it is actually completely false. As children, we all knew that words hurt, and as adults, we are keenly aware of how our words can hurt someone or, even, ourselves. As lawyers, we have an even more intimate relationship with the power of words. 


And, as women, we know the devastating effect words can have on our self-esteem, development, confidence and success. Not only are we cautious about how we are spoken to or about, but we have additional concerns about how our words are perceived: “Will they think I was mean, instead of assertive?” These considerations are a constant battle. 


We also face “women bashing” or “shaming.” It has become all too common in our society to shame women for what they wear, what they say, what they do – or what they don’t wear, say or do. And, worse yet, it is not just from men. In fact, sometimes it is more hurtful when women engage in disparaging remarks about other women, or when women sit idly by as men and/or women unfairly criticize or perpetuate hurtful words about another woman.

 

As women we have enough to deal with—our work, school, career, personal life, social life, volunteerism and the list can keep going—we don’t also need to spend our energy cutting down other women. We can be examples of true collaboration, by sticking together and building each other up. We know attitudes and words are contagious, whether they are positive or negative. We can compliment each other more, praise each other’s accomplishments more, and raise one another up with our words. 


What we didn’t learn when we repeated the childhood rhyme was this: While sticks and stones may break our bones, those wounds will heal faster than the wounds from our words. Let’s be mindful the next time we hear or start to engage in negative words or criticism. Let’s raise each other up with our words!


Deborah Dixon is a Senior Trial Attorney at Gomez Trial Attorneys, focusing on class action claims.

Tags:  guest blogger  LCB 

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