Print Page   |   Sign In   |   Register
Lawyers Club Blog
Blog Home All Blogs
Lawyers Club of San Diego is a specialty bar association committed to advancing the status of women in the law and society. We use this space to share articles written about Lawyers Club events and programs and items of interest to our members which are relevant to our mission. The opinions outlined in content published on the Lawyers Club of San Diego blog are those of the authors and not of Lawyers Club. All members are encouraged to participate respectfully in discussions regarding the topics posted on the blog. Guest writers are welcome. Guidelines for writers may be found on the Leadership Resources page.

 

Search all posts for:   

 

Top tags: LCB  legal profession  equality  feminist  feminism  guest blogger  gender  reproductive justice  women  Chasing the Last Wave  stories to solutions  discrimination  LGBTQ  sexual harassment  career  Off the Beaten Partner Track  Balance  diversity  MeToo  My So-Called First-World Problems  reproductive justice committee  reproductive rights  working mom  networking  perfection in the imperfection  Supreme Court  activism  advocacy  Art  awareness 

Guest Blog: Living Your Authentic Self in Business

Posted By Marci Bair, Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Living Your Authentic Self in Business

 

We have just kicked off the LGBTQ Task Force of Lawyers Club of San Diego. Our primary purpose is to work to identify, acknowledge, and address the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ women in the legal community. In our introductory meeting, we shared standard networking meeting information—our names, businesses, and areas of specialty. What was unique to this meeting was an additional question, “Why are you interested in joining the Lawyers Club LGBTQ Task Force?” Answers ranged from straight allies who had an LGBTQ family member they wanted to support, to members that identified as LGBTQ, to others that were just supportive of the LGBTQ community and wanted to lend their help. Some attorneys shared stories of being LGBTQ but not “out” at work at all, or not being out with clients. They shared their concern that being “out” may hurt their business or work promotion opportunities.

 

After leaving the meeting, I got to thinking about how much more productive and happy a person can be when they are able to bring their whole self to work and live an authentic life.

 

I have tried to live my life authentically inside and outside of the business world, and have always been open and transparent with my clients that I am gay. I don’t waive a rainbow flag as soon as they enter my office, but I proudly display pictures of my wife and kids around my office. I also state on the front page of my website that I work with LGBTQ couples and have an image of an LGBTQ family. Some people in business feel that if their clients find out they are LGBTQ, they may lose business or feel that it is none of the clients’ business. Both of these are very valid points and if you are a private person, you may be more comfortable not talking about your family whether you are LGBTQ or straight.

 

However, living more openly in the business world has allowed me to carve out a niche and a devoted clientele that is also either LGBTQ or progressive. This allows me to build stronger bonds and more trust than I might have otherwise. I am pleased to say that I am celebrating 25 years with my business and the majority of my clients are LGBTQ or referred from the LGBTQ community—showing that you can have a thriving business and be openly LGBTQ.

 

In San Diego, we are lucky to have so many LGBTQ-oriented professional organizations, such as the Tom Homann Law Association, Diversity Supplier Alliance, and Greater San Diego Business Association, in addition to open and inclusive organizations like Lawyers Club where LGBTQ or progressive business owners are welcomed and can thrive.

 

If you want to attract and retain LGBTQ clients, there are simple things you can do, like state on your website that you work with LGBTQ families, or use images of LGBTQ couples to let a prospective client know that your office is a safe place for them to come and feel comfortable. In addition, you can make sure that your intake forms or fact finders are LGBTQ-friendly by not just stating a place for husband and wife, but instead using the term spouse/partner. Also, when a client is single or does not come in with their spouse or partner, don’t assume that they are straight.

We all work with clients at sensitive points in their lives. The more we can make them feel comfortable, the better the relationship will be with them and the more enjoyable the experience.

 

The more you are able to live your authentic life in business, the happier you will be and the more business you will attract because you will be working with your whole self.

 

Marci Bair wrote this for the Lawyers Club LGBTQ Task Force, and as the President of Bair Financial Planning, she has provided financial planning and impact investing for sustainable wealth for the past 25 years.

Tags:  authentic life  business  LCB  LGBTQ  LGBTQ Task Force  out  same-sex couples  straight  Tom Homan 

Share |
PermalinkComments (1)
 

Passing the Torch

Posted By Holly Hanover, Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Passing the Torch

Edith (Edie) Windsor and LGBTQ activism were born in the 1920s. Both remained closeted for decades, but in the 1960s, a seismic event in New York City inspired Ms. Windsor and countless others to say “Enough.” 

Edie Windsor was born shortly before the stock market crash of 1929 and five years after the first U.S. Gay Rights Association. Edie met Thea Spyer at a dance in Greenwich Village in 1963. They danced the night away, and danced often in the years after. By 1967, when marriage – and even a relationship between two women – was illegal in the United States, Thea got down on one knee and proposed to Edie. Rather than risking exposure with an engagement ring, Thea gave Edie a circular diamond pin.

In 1969, the couple returned from a holiday on June 28th to their usually boisterous neighborhood. Edie went out for groceries and saw the aftermath of the Stonewall Riots. “There were a lot of cops . . . a very strange kind of feeling,” she observed. The night before, police had raided the Stonewall Inn to harass the gay men inside. Police often conducted raids there, citing the patrons for “offensive” behaviors and beating them during arrests. This time, the gay people fought back.

Before that day, Edie lied to others constantly to hide who she was. She feared being associated with the gay community. That event altered her. “From that day on, I had this incredible gratitude . . . . They changed my life forever.”  

Afterwards, Edie and Thea lived openly as lesbians, and together as an engaged couple for over 40 years. Edie cared for Thea after she contracted multiple sclerosis, leaving her a quadriplegic. They married in 2007 in Canada, because marriage had recently been legalized there. In 2009, Thea died in their home, with Edie by her side.

---

“Marriage is a magic word. And it is magic throughout the world.

It has to do with our dignity as human beings, to be who we are openly.”

- Edith Windsor

---

When processing Thea’s estate, Edie learned the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prevented her from being recognized as a legal spouse. She had to pay $363,053 in taxes, which a heterosexual wife would never have been required to pay. Facing this fundamental injustice, Edie chose to fight back and stand up for herself.

After a 4-year court battle, the Supreme Court ruled in her favor. In 2013, her case, U.S. v. Windsor, became one of three seminal rulings that changed the lives of LGBTQ people in the United States:

  1. Lawrence v. Texas (2003) – Texas law criminalizing "homosexual conduct" is unconstitutional.
  2.  U.S. v. Windsor (2013) – DOMA section 3 is unconstitutional; federal government cannot discriminate against married LGBTQ couples when determining federal benefits/protections.
  3.  Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) – Same-sex marriage bans are unconstitutional. Expanded the Windsor decision, creating protection for same-sex marriage under Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment, and forcing recognition of marriages performed out-of-state.

---

 “Sometimes there are days like this when that slow, steady effort is

rewarded with justice that arrives like a thunderbolt.”

- Barack Obama

---

The recent progress of the LGBTQ community has suffered numerous setbacks since January. Responsibility now falls to a new generation to continue the persistent fight to allow everyone in the U.S. the same rights and opportunities. On September 12, 2017, Edie Windsor passed away in Manhattan. It is time to pick up her torch and carry it forward. 

 

Holly Hanover wrote this for the Lawyers Club LGBTQ Task Force and runs a Federal Criminal Defense practice at The Law Offices of Holly S. Hanover, representing indigent clients for more than 22 years.

Tags:  activism  Edith Windsor  LCB  LGBTQ  LGBTQ Task Force  same sex marriage  Supreme Court 

Share |
PermalinkComments (0)
 
more LC Blog
more Calendar

12/11/2019
Fund For Justice Luncheon

3/5/2020
2020 Red, White & Brew

Lawyers Club of San Diego

402 West Broadway, Suite 1260
San Diego CA 92101
619-595-0650

Association Management Software Powered by YourMembership  ::  Legal