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Lawyers Club of San Diego is a specialty bar association committed to advancing the status of women in the law and society. We use this space to share articles written about Lawyers Club events and programs and items of interest to our members which are relevant to our mission. The opinions outlined in content published on the Lawyers Club of San Diego blog are those of the authors and not of Lawyers Club. All members are encouraged to participate respectfully in discussions regarding the topics posted on the blog. Guest writers are welcome. Guidelines for writers may be found on the Leadership Resources page.

 

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Stories to Solutions: "4 Practical Tips for Dealing with Creeps in the Workplace – Part II"

Posted By Chelsea Chatsworth, Tuesday, March 14, 2017

4 Practical Tips for Dealing with Creeps in the Workplace – Part II

 

I’m sure many of you have experienced similar (or worse) situations to the one described in "What’s a Girl Boss to do When It’s Not Just Lunch?" Here are four practical tips I wish I had the self-confidence and courage to use at the time.

1. Stop Caring What Other People Think

Obsessing over what other people think about you is completely exhausting and unproductive. You simply can’t control other people. Focus on what you can control–your behavior. I call it the “do you” plan. You might be worried about hurting Mark’s* feelings or about him thinking less of you if you say something. Keep in mind that Mark is a jerk who only cares about parading around with a beautiful 20-something, which is pathetic. Also, don’t worry what your coworkers in the lobby think. They probably fixate on other people to deflect attention away from their unhappy lives. You know the truth. The sooner you’ve mastered this tip the sooner you can truly enjoy life. 

meyouimage

2. Keep Your Inner Circle Tight

You know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” Well why in the f*ck would you want to do that? I prefer to keep my enemies way the f*ck away from me. My mantra is, “If you’re not 110% in my corner, then I don’t need you in my life.” My circle is super tight and it’s comprised of kind, nonjudgmental, loyal people who provide honest feedback when I need it (and I do the same for them). If something like this happens to you, tell someone in your inner circle. She (or he) will be a much needed sounding board, giving you the courage to handle the matter in a way that works for you.

3.
 Say Something (the Sooner the Better)

Trust me, Mark can take it. He probably knows he’s being inappropriate, but he has gotten away with it for so long he sees no reason to stop. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, address it as soon as possible. Keep it simple and straight forward (i.e. “When you do X it makes me feel uncomfortable because X. Please stop.”). I know this can be difficult, especially when you’re caught off guard like I was, but it’s more difficult to have your boundaries pushed over and over again because you didn’t speak up initially.

4. 
Get Your Game Face On

getyourgamefaceon


If you’ve ever been in a position similar to mine, it’s easy to wonder where you went wrong. These thoughts are normal. You can explore them with someone in your inner circle, but quickly move on. Do something to make yourself feel better (go for a run, spoon your dog, eat a pizza--no judgment here), then reset and get your head back in the game. Don’t let someone else’s bad behavior make you doubt yourself. Put on your power suit and march back into your office with your head held high.


XO,

CC


What are your tips for dealing with awkward encounters at work? Leave them in the comments below!


*Name changed to protect the not-so-innocent.


“Chelsea Chatsworth” is more than just a pretty face and a pen name, and she can be reached at chelseachatsworth@gmail.com. 

Tags:  boundaries  confidence  LCB  self-blame  stories to solutions  strategy  tips 

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