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Lawyers Club of San Diego is a specialty bar association committed to advancing the status of women in the law and society. We use this space to share articles written about Lawyers Club events and programs and items of interest to our members which are relevant to our mission. The opinions outlined in content published on the Lawyers Club of San Diego blog are those of the authors and not of Lawyers Club. All members are encouraged to participate respectfully in discussions regarding the topics posted on the blog. Guest writers are welcome. Guidelines for writers may be found on the Leadership Resources page.

 

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Chasing the Last Wave: Trashing the Guilt ​

Posted By Molly T. Tami, Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Trashing the Guilt

 

Many women lawyers suffer from guilt over working too much (or not enough), shortchanging their kids and families on quality (and quantity) time, and in general, failing to be the perfect partner, mother, daughter, friend, worker, etc. Most of us have been there at one point in our lives. As we chase the last wave of feminism, isn’t it time we trashed the guilt and lived our lives on our own terms?

 

To further explore this, let’s revisit the topic of networking. In my last blog post, I urged lawyers to pursue yoga (as opposed to golf) for networking and making meaningful connections. How about we embrace other traditional women’s activities as great opportunities for networking, while trashing the guilt we’ve been conditioned to feel over taking time from the workday to enjoy such things? 

 

For example, would you feel justified attending a non-work related “hat luncheon” to support a philanthropic cause?  New York City women lawyers and business executives did just that at the annual Central Park Women’s Committee luncheon. And in doing so, they embraced the idea that “We’re Ladies, We Lunch and We Like It.” As one female lawyer attendee noted, "Men have their golf outings, we have this.” Another attendee noted that men would never apologize about leaving the office to go play golf and they don’t feel uncomfortable blurring lines between pleasure and business. So why should women?  (Be sure to click on the link and read the article to see the fabulous hats worn at the luncheon!)

 

I recently discovered that I too am a lady, who lunches, and likes it! I became a new member of ZLAC Rowing Club here in San Diego, (the oldest women’s rowing club in the country), and I attended the club’s annual Terrace Luncheon. (Disclaimer: the luncheon occurred on a Saturday so I did not have to miss work to attend.) I’m not much of a hat person, but in keeping with the club’s traditions and inspired by the ladies of NYC who attended the Central Park Women’s Committee luncheon, I donned a (borrowed) hat, put on a summery dress and enjoyed a spectacular Saturday afternoon luncheon on the club’s lovely terrace in Pacific Beach.

 

So ladies, let’s continue to chase the last wave and like the women at the NYC luncheon, feel no more guilt for guilty pleasures!

 

Molly Tami, who serves as the Assistant Dean for Career & Professional Development at USD School of Law, is passionate about advancing women in the legal profession.      

Tags:  Chasing the Last Wave  connections  equality  feminism  feminist  gender  golf  hat luncheon  legal profession  networking  women  yoga  ZLAC 

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Chasing the Last Wave: "Taking Networking to the Mat!"

Posted By Molly T. Tami , Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Taking Networking to the Mat!  

 

Do you play golf? Personally, I am not a fan of the sport for several reasons that I will address below. I recognize, however, that many people enjoy golf, and some find themselves obsessed with it. Most of those people are unquestionably men. Should more women be encouraged to “hit the links?”

 

Lawyers and other professionals often cite golf as the best networking opportunity out there. For that reason, women lawyers are urged to take up the game. In a commentary on why more women should play golf, the CEO of the Executive Women’s Golf Association states: “Golf has been deemed the sport of business. Few, if any, activities can duplicate the power of golf to boost one’s career regardless of gender. The game provides unmatchable networking time with clients, prospects and colleagues, including coveted access to senior management.” Recognizing this, the Lawyers Club and other professional women’s organizations have facilitated golf lessons for their members.

 

Perhaps golf is great for business, but there are good reasons why women don’t play this male dominated sport and frankly, don’t want to. Firstly, many women never had the opportunity to learn to play the sport while growing up, and thus, never developed the skills or the interest. Moreover, most women who have children or other family commitments do not have the time or inclination to spend hours on the golf course on weekends or evenings. I have witnessed many marriages severely strained by the husband’s obsession with his weekend golf game while his wife stayed home to take care of the children and oversee the family’s weekend activities. (I hope this phenomenon was more prevalent with my age group of the baby boomers, than it is with younger couples.)  Finally, I know many women who would rather be pursuing other activities for exercise, enjoyment, networking, and connecting in a meaningful way with other people.

 

For example, let’s consider yoga. It’s hugely popular these days given its many health benefits and accessibility.Yoga for Everyone, a recent New York Times piece, extolls the virtues of a yoga practice. Yoga really is for everyone, and both men and women can practice together in a variety of settings. And in my experience, great connections can be forged before, during and after a yoga class!  

 

So here’s my idea. As we chase the last wave of feminism and work to advance women in the legal profession, I propose that we strive to make yoga the sport of business and networking. I would argue that the non-judgmental and reflective nature of yoga aligns well with the goals of making meaning connections and reaching agreement with others. If others came to recognize this, then perhaps we would see great interest in participating in yoga retreats, not just in golf outings.

 

Networking and making connections is an important part of my job, but don’t look for me on the golf course. Instead, you will find me sitting on my yoga mat breathing, stretching and connecting with my fellow yogis. Why not join us and help make it a movement!   

 

Molly Tami, who serves as the Assistant Dean for Career & Professional Development at USD School of Law, is passionate about advancing women in the legal profession.              

Tags:  business  Chasing the Last Wave  connections  equality  feminism  feminist  gender  golf  LCB  legal profession  networking  women  yoga 

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